


There's a Beaver in the Room (The What Happens in Sochi Doesn't Stay in Sochi Remix)

by kinetikatrue



Category: Columbus Blue Jackets RPF, Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Animal Transformation, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 12:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15949253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinetikatrue/pseuds/kinetikatrue
Summary: As soon as I saw the Sochi references, I knew where I was going with this!





	There's a Beaver in the Room (The What Happens in Sochi Doesn't Stay in Sochi Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadler/gifts).
  * Inspired by [There's Not a Weasel in the Room](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9515111) by [Nadler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadler/pseuds/Nadler). 



> As soon as I saw the Sochi references, I knew where I was going with this!

It's like this, okay? After the incident in Dallas with Kari, and the things some of the other guys said, Lauri had been at least pretty sure that Kari wasn't the only hockey player who did that kind of thing. So if he's not exactly _expecting_ anything to happen in 'Lumbus, well, he's not exactly surprised when it does. Or that when it does happen, it happens on the road, after they get kicked out of the playoffs by the Pens. After all, the first time Lauri saw Kärppä do it was in Sochi.

"Do all goalie turn into kärppä?" Lauri says, mostly to himself. It could be true, easy - he's heard about loads of strange stuff that's happened to hockey players. And even if there’s no sign that Antti does, or Pekka, that doesn’t for sure count against the idea.

Still, none of them are here right now to have an opinion on this. And All Lauri’s done is open a door (he thought it was the visitors' training room, okay) and then, hah, he's staring at a pile of UnderArmour and 'Lumbus branded athleticwear housing a smallish furry animal. That happens to be staring right back at him. And used to be Bob. Because did he mention that for a very brief moment, before whatever it is that happens happened, behind the winning door had been their Vezina-winning goalie?

So, no, he's not surprised. And after a moment's further thought - hockey isn't a business where you spend a lot of time thinking about animals that aren't a) mascots, b) common pets, or c) commonly hunted or fished - while staring quizzically back at kärppä-Bob, revises that to 'no, _majava_.' Because he remembers the campaign to get rid of the Canadian ones so the European ones could have a chance. There'd been jokes about nature having imports, too.

Not that Lauri knows what to do with one now that he's faced with it.

He knows that they gnaw down trees to build dams, and people don't always like their choices as to where. But do they eat wood? Would Bob have chewed his way through a team's worth of sticks back in the days when they still came from actual trees? Or something else? Probably he wouldn't know what to do with a post-game orange besides making a mess, anyway…but should Lauri be trying to find it a snack? Or a beaver-sized litter box? But he doesn't get a chance to think it out any further than that. Which is probably just as well.

"You're remarkably calm for a guy staring at a beaver -"

_Ah, yes, that was the English word for it._ “Well,” Lauri starts to say. 

"-sitting on his teammate's hoodie, on top of...an overturned mop bucket," Fligs says, from over Lauri's shoulder, because probably he came looking for Bob. That's the kind of thing Fligs does. 

Unlike Lauri, who just wanted some ice, and maybe an ankle wrap. And had gotten a closet full of beaver, instead. Pretty much literally: between the bulk of the body and the long, paddle-shaped tail, it's taking up nearly all the floorspace not occupied by cleaning supplies, plus some that used to be. To be honest, he'd had a vague idea that they were, well, smaller than this. And who knows? Maybe they usually are. But Bob, being a goalie, is a particularly tall human, so it would stand to reason that he would turn out to be a particularly large beaver, as well.

"Are Finns just that cool? Or maybe this isn't your first rodeo?" Fligs asks, just then. 

Probably because for all that Lauri has no earthly idea of what to do with a beaver - he isn't a Kärppä-whisperer like Antti - he's not actually worried about it. And because Lauri is basically a terrible liar - he doesn't have any kind of poker face, as the guys were so fond of mentioning at every possible opportunity back in Dallas - Fligs sees his answer on his face before he even starts to speak. Still, he isn't going to name names, just nod and confirm, "In Sochi and in Dallas." Which, put that way, he might not even mean the same guy both times. Even though he does: Kärppä.

Fligs nods and says, "Bob does it whenever he feels like he let his team down when it really counted - he was furry _a lot_ after Sochi. But then he went out and got gold for Russia at Worlds." A beat later he adds, "they gave him a medal for it - he was so proud."

Lauri nods - he beat the Finns to do it, so none of them got to go home and get medals to be proud of (not that that's the kind of thing Finland gives medals for). And stop them turning into kärppä. Not that the game had been Kärppä's to lose, any more than the bronze medal game in Sochi had been his to win. Not after he'd presented the team with a furry little problem mid-way through the tournament. 

"At least he picks his moments," he says to Fligs, because he _still_ has no idea what makes Kärppä decide to go furry - he's such a laid-back guy - at such inconvenient times. The bye-week had been okay, in the end, but if Kärppä hadn't decided that his craving for alcohol was greater than his...pride? Well, Nemo would have taken it in stride, Lauri's sure, but explaining it to management? He's grateful that that would've been Jamie's problem and not his.

"He'll be back in time for locker clean-out. Of course, if he wins the Vezina…"

"...he might be gone again." 

"But that'll be Olya's problem," Fligs says, smiling fondly, like he probably doesn't actually mind Bob turning into a beaver, or wouldn't mind if he had to take Bob off Olya's hands the next time it happens.

And that's another comforting thought: as long as Antti is around, at least Kärppä will never be Lauri's problem.

As Fligs is making clear. "I bet you weren't trying to figure out where he'd gone to ground - unlike me - what were you looking for?"

"Trainers," Lauri says, flexing his ankle and grimacing.

Fligs grins and says, "Turn the other way where this hallway splits. I started out on that side, looking for this guy, because I got it backwards, too. They probably even have ice left."

"Just a little sweaty," Lauri says, with a grin of his own. Because that's a locker room joke everywhere. "Thanks."

**Author's Note:**

> 'Kärppä' is Finnish for stoat - as I found out while researching for this story - and since 'bobr' is Russian for beaver, obviously I needed to go there!


End file.
